2003-11-03 - 2:49 p.m.
It seems just a few entries ago I was complaining about my life being staid and boring, and now I feel like I Ms. Busy McBusygal.
Last Monday I auditioned for the soprano solo in a new piece the FCS is premiering at our Dec. 6 "Christmas in Fairfax." I did not get it. BUT! I got one of the higher alto solos. It is very short, but still, it is just me singing by my little lonesome. Then I got asked to participate in the small group FCS sends out to various community events (mostly events at which they pays us), so I'll be busy with that shiznit too.
I was going to participate in National Novel Writing Month, but I don't think I'll have the time to write a 50,000 page novel while preparing for a solo and the 7 concerts I've found myself involved in this December. So I'm finding myself making the switch from being a writer to being a singer.
I'm not sure how I feel about that. I've always dreamed of being a singer, a real singer who gets paid to sing and is very good. And while I'm not there, for the first time, I can see it. Not just in a dream, but in a very real future. I still have an enormous amount of work to get there, but today I am absolutely convinced it is mine if I want it. Nothing large, nothing glamorous--no diva at the Met, just someone who gets paid to sing, most likely as a professional chorister.
But I've always been a writer, and leaving that behind is wrenching. I don't think I can do it entirely. Maybe I just need to give up this idea of writing a novel and focus on my poetry again. I haven't written poetry in a very long time, which makes me wonder if I've lost it, if I can go back.
I suppose the question is--can I master two disciplines? I don't want to write poetry if all I'm churning out is crap. That may be egotistical, but it's true. There's enough crappy poets out there. I don't need to be the best poet in the world or the best singer in the world, but if I'm going to pursue it, I do need to be good--or at least "good" needs to be in sight.
If anyone out there wants to start up a writing exchange with me, just let me know. We'll set ourselves some sort of goal and exchange finished products or work-in-progress. It could be fun!
Die Entfuehrung aus dem Serail (The Abduction From
Which Mozart Opera Does Your Life Most Resemble?
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