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sad cat thoughts

2002-12-12 - 12:10 p.m.

Things are falling apart on some levels. There are some family dynamics going on that are just not good--I don't want to give specifics that aren't mine to give, but just send nice thoughts to R's family.

Plus our cat has an enlarged spleen and some generalized health problems that just don't seem to be healing. She tested negative for FIV and feline leukemia, but the vets aren't sure what's wrong. R and I are having to make some tough decisions. We're not sure how serious the situation is--it might be nothing major or it might be something very very major. The thing is, the vet bills are killing us. We love this cat. We will do anything we can to keep her healthy and happy. But can we really sacrifice our financial future to do so? There's only so much we're willing to pay. Not just for financial reasons. The more we have to pay, the sicker she'lll be, and the more chance that we'll just be prolonging her suffering. She seems fine now. She's very sweet and doesn't appear to be in any pain (except when we pick her up). Our goal is to keep her in that state for as long as possible--we refuse to take drastic measures to keep her alive if it will cause her to suffer.

I'll keep the diary updated with any news we receive. We've had some tests done and should be getting the results this afternoon.

I feel so incredibly guilty for letting finances enter into this decision. I feel like a horrible horrible person. But I want a house, and I want kids. Does it make me a hideous human being not to want to spend what we've saved for a down payment on the house on the cat? Because that's the kind of money we might be talking about. We've already spent almost a thousand dollars on her vet bills since we've had her. When is it appropriate to draw the line? Is it appropriate to draw a line? And are we bad people because we've pretty much made up our minds that a line will have to be drawn maybe sooner rather than later?


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