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disgruntled working housewife

2003-07-08 - 4:30 p.m.

Just once, I'd like to have dinner guests come into my house, and make my dramatic announcement: "Tonight we'll be having cereal." Mind you, I'd be an expansive hostess; I'd provide more than one kind of milk (skim, 2%, and possibly soy) and definitely more than one kind of cereal. I'd probably have fruit: blueberries for the Chex and possibly strawberries for the Cheerios. I'd offer a pleasant dessert option of Golden Grahams, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and if I were feeling extraordinarily industrious, Philsbury's Cinnamon Buns. Hell, I'd even brew up a pot of coffe and one of tea. But if you want orange juice, you'd have to get up out your chair and get it your damn self.

Interestingly enough, we're having an unexpected dinner guest, and I'm feeling the pressure of making something somewhat exciting and appetizing for dinner. Mind you, I haven't been able to work out in over a week, it is That Time of the Month tomorrow (which fact you were all dying to know) and all I really want to do is go home, eat cereal, and lounge around watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer season three, preferrably while the husband gets me a refill on the cereal. Probably I would have even dragged my lazy butt to the gym to log in some time on the treadmill. But no. Now I shall be leaving work and heading straight to the grocery store where I shall assemble raw foodstuffs that will later congeal into an appetizing meal. You know, I think I'm going to be rude and just have some veggies and some chicken paprika, which takes about 30 second of prep time. If people want more elaborate, they can bloody well skip their workouts and come home early to help with dinner preparations. Or perhaps even with the cursory cleaning of the house.

Just stick a fork in me and call me Suzie Homemaker.

(To explain venomous outbursts, we are still reeling from certain comments made by nameless folk alleging that someone might not be as good a housekeeper as she could be. And truly someone could be a better housekeeper--especially if someone didn't work 45 hours a week, work out, and sing.)


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