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pathetic and sad

2004-09-29 - 12:42 p.m.

Wealhtheow signing on: requesting validation please.

As you all know, I make it a general rule never to blog about work, but I'm breaking it to discuss a certain social situation that's got me down. There's a group of gals at work that I've been pretty friendly with--I often eat lunch with them and have hung out with them after work a few times. But lately I've been feeling pretty left out of the loop. These gals all work in the same department and have their offices right next to each other. (They are also not just lowly assistants, like yours truly). They always eat lunch together, and today I was in the lunchroom. They all came in, mostly ignored me, prepared their food, and went outside. I was not invited. I'm actually never invited to eat lunch with these ladies. I'm rarely invited anywhere with them. They all have been over to each other's houses often; again, rarely if ever invited.

Of course, these ladies are all skinny, witty, fashionable, sophisticated urbane women with a taste for the finer things. Even when I am hanging out with them, I always feel like the dumpy frumpy girl who's just playing dress up. I'm not nearly as fashionable, I never go out to new restaurants in the city. They're very nice--I'm just getting the feeling that I'm very much an afterthought for them--they like hanging out with me when I'm around, but it would never occur to them to extend an invitation to events.

I'm a little depressed about this today. I'm hoping most people would be a little depressed when a group that they formerly considered to be friends pretty much ignored them completely. I feel like I suddenly don't have that many friends anymore. I know its partly my fault--I'm not always good with the calling people up and often prefer just to stay home like a boring lump. I need to call my friend V and invite her and her husband and new baby over--I know she's lonely also, and R and I really enjoyed hanging out with them. And the F----- neighbors as well.

Maybe I'm just too needy. I've been pulling away from these office girls, because really, who they hell are they that I need to prostitute myself to them? After all, I have a great husband, a wonderful cat, and some great friends--who happen to live across the freaking country.

So internet-world, if you're out there, give a little shout-out to lonely little ole me. Now I'll go weep silently in the office restroom (just kidding, although I am a little teary-eyed. I'm very talented in the art of moping and feeling sorry for myself.)

Edited to add: I am truly a pathetic freak and I am sorry about that. On the bright side, my wonderful crazy Grammie sent me birthday money and I will use it on Saturday to buy a fishtank and populate it with fish. I will then have TONS of little fishy friends, and I will rule them as their god. They will love me or suffer the goddamn consequences and be fed as a special treat to the kitty.)


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