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2004-10-06 - 3:53 p.m.

Many many people are finding my site by searching for "sarah jessica parker gap commercial," and no doubt stumbling upon the entry where I cruelly mock (mock!) SJP for her asinine commercial. Part of me is gleeful. I'm getting a lot of hits for this.

But part of me is now feeling guilty. What if poor Sarah Jessica sees my merciless mocking? What if it hurts her feelings? Oh my god, what if she cries because I compared her to a vampire rabbit?? Underneath my snark and vitriol, I am actually quite tender-hearted. So I'd like to apologize to Sarah Jessica Parker if I inadvertently hurt her feelings. Mind you, I don't apologize for what I said, because I think it was damn funny and I'm a whore for humor. Plus, have you seen this woman? If they ever make a sequel to Space Jam, she could play Bugs Bunny.

In other news, I did not get a fishtank, and I have no fishy friends who worship me. R and I wandered blindly around the PetStore, trying desperately to find someone to help us. Help was available for practically everyone else in the store, but no one wanted to help us. In the end I decided that I didn't want to expend any effort taking care of a fish tank, and the whole project was swiftly abandoned in favor of playing with homeless adoptable dogs.

Next we went to BestElectronicStore, where we attempted to have some questions answered concerning TiVo. Once again, help was in abundance for others in the store, but we were pointedly ignored. This is becoming a theme for me, and I am most seriously displeased. I guess next time we head out to the store on a Friday night we ought to dress up in our best business attire and wear ostentatious amount of expensive jewelry in an effort to convince salesjerks we are Worth The Effort. Bastards! Bastards all!

Saturday morning, the anniversary of my birth, I woke up early and went running for 2 hours and ten minutes. Stop me if I told this earlier. I did really pretty well, covering close to ten miles. I went very slowly and didn't push at all, as I hadn't run in a couple weeks. I used my new faux camelback water thingy that held oodles and oodles of agua, and I drank it all. However, I did not continue to consume vast amounts of water upon my return, because I felt miserable for the remainder of Saturday and Sunday. So miserable, in fact, that my beautiful birthday dinner was ruined, resulting in my staring at my food whilst my tummy gurgled in silent protest. Evidently running kicks up the acid reflux into a gear traditionally known as "oh my god, is there an alien trapped inside my stomach?" Yesterday was the first day I felt completely back to normal.

So the girls I wrote about in my blizzard of self-pity the other day? Two of them brought me birthday flowers and a giant birthday cookie on Friday. It's as though I'm half-in, half-out of the clique. I simply don't get it, folks! It's msytifying! I've decided just to let what happens happens--que sera sera, as it were. Honestly, I can't invest the energy in neurotic obsessive wondering, as there really is too much to do. Big shout-outs to those who left comforting messages, including new reader Eva. Hi Eva!


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