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Chanukkah is the Festival of Lights; instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights!

2004-12-07 - 5:35 p.m.

Lately, I've been getting numerous offers to meet young girls and/or bored housewives. I'm uncertain how to convey to the spammers that I am woman, hear me roar, so that I no longer need to wade through blatantly offensive e-mails. I mean, there is spam offering to increase your penis size, and then there is spam offering child porn, and I am really starting to get pissed about it. I can see why we need to set our filters wide--after all, we are an education organization and someone very conceivably might be doing research on child molestation or rape or sexual harrassment. But I maintain there is no conceivable legitimate reason for anyone in this office to receive or send an e-mail containing the word "slut."

I can't wait to see the Google hits I shall now accrue. Hie thee hence, perverts!

Kennedy Center concert marathon starts tomorrow with the dress rehearsal. The incomparable Mr. Hamlisch gutted a couple pieces--I know he was thinking of time and the accesibility factor, but I can't help feeling souless singing our new untasty version of "Deck the Halls." He also cut out my favorite verse of "Joy to the World:" our particular arrangement has the men singing "No more let sins and sorrows grow and thorns infest the ground. He comes to make his blessings known far as the curse is found," and the harmonies are just to die for. But alas, Kennedy Center patrons shall not hear it.

After the KC concerts I am free, free as a bird, until January. I shall use that time to make some holiday cookie goodness, suitable for giving out to various and sundry folk; cleaning the house (o never-ending drudgery!); learning music for January; and dealing with holiday shopping. I must go to Le Target, and my heart fails at the thought of hideous, hideous holiday crowds. Large groups of people make me nervous.

Happy Chanukkah, everyone. That's right, the Festival of Lights starts this very night. Unfortunately, I don't believe I shall be drinking any gin-and-tonica, but you never know. I have a strong feeling we will listen to the immortal "Chanukkah Song," cause we are so secular it would make your teeth hurt. Somewhere I have a book of traditional songs, but R has been very good lately, so I shan't tie him to a chair and make him sing holiday songy goodness with me and the cat. I'd love to see our choir do a Chanukkah song next year--I mean, the whole world does not celebrate Christmas, people. Usually this doesn't bother me, but I'm starting to get a little het up about not including even the barest of nods to the Jews during all the holiday madness. Although there was a great article somewhere (I just saw it clipped out) which instructed Jews on how to make a cocktail menorah with little tiny liquor bottles for each night. It was hysterical.

Oh well--I'm off to the gym and possibly, dinner.


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