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weekend madness!

2005-01-18 - 10:03 a.m.

Mmmmm, yummy steroids! In addition to the twice daily doses of Advair, I've taken a hit of the albuterol six days out of eight. Project Lose Holiday Weight has come to a screeching halt. In addition, I'm betting I'll wind up using the albuterol again today.

Why, you ask? Oh, probably because it is 16 fucking degrees here. As I told my husband last night, if you don't think 16 fucking degrees needs that modifier, you are fucking insane. Anything under twenty degrees desperately cries out for profanity. Oh, I'm sorry, now it's technically eighteen fucking degrees, with a windchill of one goddamn motherfucking degree. Kids, I posit that neither man nor woman was ever meant to deal with a windchill factor of one goddamn motherfucking degree. All those of you who are like "I live in Minnesota, and it's so cold here we can't even talk long enough to say profanity, and when the temperature reaches one degree we break out the Daisy Dukes and drink pina coladas because it's such a heat wave," to all of you people, I say shut the hell up. Listen kids, I can vomit every day straight for a week and think nothing of it, but that doesn't mean I in any way think that shit is normal. If you come to me and say "oh, wealhtheow, I've been so sick I threw up three times in 36 hours," I'm not going to regale you with stories of how much worse my GI tract is. No, I'll say "dude, that bites. Can I get you some chicken soup?" And that's all I want from you rtight now--metaphorical chicken soup, and a wee nip of Scotch. Medecinal purposes, you know.

In more cheering news, R has painted our downstairs bathroom, and it looks so much better than it did even in my wildest fantasies. We toyed with the idea of putting in a medecine cabinet down there, but we can't find one with a narrow profile (and there's a stud right where we want to put it), so instead we're going to install a nice mirror and put in a smallish bath cabinet. If I play my cards right, I can convince him to change the ugly lights currently in the bathroom for some prettier, more sophisticated lights. The bathroom looks indescribably good, like something you'd see in a magazine. Booyah! Next we're going to paint the living room in a warm buttery yellow. My parents have the same shade in their house, and it is gorgeous. Normally I'm not a yellow-type of gal, but this particular shade has none of the harshness I associate with the color, and is instead more like mellow sunshine. I think it will go a long way towards warming up the room. Other projects include replacing the indescribably squicky shades in our bedroom with the nice new clean cellular shades we bought this weekend. R also came up with the amazing idea to get some veneer for all our cabinets so they look less like refugees from the 70s and more like wood. That will directly impact the bathroom, making it even more glamourous. My parents are talking about coming out in the spring, and I can't wait for them to see all the changes we've made.


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