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2003-03-19 - 10:13 a.m.

There's a tobaccao loony out on the mall. He's packed his tractor with explosives (or possibly not) and is parked in a pond, tying up traffic for all directions. He's pissed about the hardships of tobacco farming and about the lawsuits against tobacco companies.

1. Tobacco companies have consistently lied about the fact that they are well aware their product is addictive and poses serious health risks. I have no sympathy for them. And I'm not 100% sure I have sympathy for tobacco growers--it's not like we use tobacco for anything other than carcinogenic purposes (at least to the best of my knowledge).

2. This guy is a yokel. He has no outside support, and it's pretty clear he didn't plan this too much in advance. Yet he has totally screwed traffic in and around D.C. It took me almost an hour yesterday to make my 15-minute commute, and I don't even go into the city! So what the hell is going to happen when the terrorists strike? People will be sitting in their cars on the freeways for days. Days, I tell you.

So here I am. My apartment is less than a mile from the Pentagon. I can't "shelter in place" because there are so many cracks around my windows that I would have to duct tape my entire apartment--assuming the plastic sheeting/duct tape worked some sort of magic. I can't get out of the city because the roads were never designed to accomodate this many people. Basically all I can do is hope that whatever goes down doesn't go down where I am.

And my government is telling me they're doing "everything they can" to ensure safety. Bullshit. If they were really doing everything they could, they'd at the very least shoot this guy so the roads are clear in the event of an emergency, not shine bright lights and blast fog horns at him.

Meanwhile, I'm betting Bush is keeping his family back at the ranch.

UPDATE: The loony got off the tractor and supposedly traffic will be normal tonight..


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